Being the younger sister, Vera always is the second to hit the big milestones.  She is also the queen of immediate gratification and has no patience for waiting for anything.  So when AJ lost her first baby tooth, Vera wanted to lose hers right then.  Of course, being 18 months younger, she was no where near the point of actually losing one.  So she had to wait.  

Over the last year or so, she has obsessed on and off about losing a tooth.  A couple of times one has felt loose, but it has never actually happened…until last night.  Shortly after dinner Vera came over saying her tooth was loose and this time she was right.  Not only was one tooth loose, but two of them were very wiggly.  

Once she realized that they were really loose, she wanted one of them out.  She would not hear that she had to wait until it got looser and if you told her that you couldn’t make it come out IMMEDIATELY then she would go into her infamous meltdown mode.  This happened several times throughout the evening.  She kept wiggling them until she had gotten them to the point where I didn’t think it would take long to have them out.  

She went to summer camp this morning and could not wait to show everyone that it was loose.  I let the counselor know that she might have at least one of them out by the end of the day.  I however, didn’t think to warn her about the melt downs.  I would learn that I should have thought to do that.

When I went to pick up the girls at the end of the day, I learned of the excitement that had ensued with Vera’s tooth.  She had continued to be obsessed with getting it out throughout the day.  And she had gone into meltdown mode any time she was told that it would not come out.  When it continued not to fall out, she engaged AJ to assist her by twisting the tooth to get it to come out.  So there they are, Vera with her mouth wide open and AJ with her hand in Vera’s mouth twisting her tooth.  This caused quite the scene at summer camp today.  But they proved that persistence pays, as shortly before I arrived to pick them up AJ succeeded in twisting Vera’s tooth out.

Apparently, the obsession was only with having the first experience.  Thankfully, the other loose tooth has been left alone since the first one came out and I have been advised by Vera that she will let it fall out naturally.  Hopefully, she will follow through with that.  I think there are several people who will be thankful for that.

Both of the girls are very selective eaters.  I would say they were picky, but I am not convinced that their refusal to eat things has anything to do with whether they like a food or not.  I think it has more to do with what mood they are in.  I guess we are all like that to a point, but at least from my perspective their “selectiveness” is extreme.  I feel this way because it seems to be every day and every meal (breakfast might be the one exception, but that is probably because they get to pick from the choices in the house almost every day).

I do not claim to be a gourmet chef, and I cook out of necessity instead of enjoyment, but my food is good.  However, the reaction I typically get to telling them I am going to cook is from one of the below selections:

• Really?
• Can we pick what we want instead of eating that?
• I don’t like that (mind you I haven’t told them what it is)

So I was amazed this week when we came home from work and camp and I cooked a meal which was not only accepted, but devoured.  This was not a magnificent new option, it was the same stuff that I have cooked on many of the occasions where I received one of the above responses.  I never figured out what the difference was, but whatever caused it, I am grateful.  I always worry if they get enough food so am thrilled that it worked out.  Now to figure out how to repeat.  

Vera has been quite the challenge lately.  I am sure it has a lot to do with the end of the school year and the changes in routine that go with it,  The melt downs have increased and she seems to be having a hard time managing her emotions.  I have been talking to the therapist about tools to help her calm down.  

We finally had success last night when she was upset because AJ got a lamp for her bedroom and Vera did not get one also.  After quite a  while of trying to hug her and talk to her it finally occurred to me that the bean bag chair that the therapist had suggested and I was trying to implement might help.  The idea is that cuddling into the chair feels like being hugged.  I got it from the living room (the girls were already in bed) and put it on her bed.  She climbed on to it, snuggled down and immediately calmed down.  

She eventually went to sleep on the bean bag chair and slept all night.  Yay!!  I am very hopeful that this may be a new tool for helping her calm herself down.  I will take any help I can get!

For the second time so far this summer we spent a relaxing day on the beach with good friends.  While we are there, we (I say “we”, really I shouldn’t take any credit as my friend does all of the work) set out fishing poles to try to catch some fish while we play.  Vera decided to take it a step further this time and suggested that I catch a fish with my hands (maybe my punishment for not owning more of the work with the poles).  

I took the opportunity to have some fun with Vera and splash her.  I would pretend like I was going to grab a fish and then splash her with the water.  I figured she would tire of the game quickly and not want to be splashed.  Boy was I wrong.  Instead of complaining about being splashed she just laughed and then tried to teach me how to catch the fish.  She would tell me to get on my knees in the water, then show me to cup my hands.  I would follow along but end up splashing her with water each time.  

After being splashed she would laugh and tell me I was doing it wrong, so I would tell her to show me again.  We must have played this game for over an hour all together.  

I am sure I will be in trouble some day in the future if I don’t expand the story to include the “sea monsters”.  Another silly game that became a huge hit with the girls.  Seaweed that floated by became the “sea monster” and was thrown back and forth trying to hit the target.  Most of the time we missed, but everyone enjoyed the occasional hits.

It is such a joy to see the girls have fun.  These are the times when I recognize all of our blessings and thank god for bringing us all together to make this unique family (with such wonderful friends).

It seems my current challenge is with Vera.  When it comes to clothing and food she changes with the wind and is never happy. None of her clothes fit right, something about each of them bothers her.  A pair of shoes she wore yesterday have a problem that makes them un-wearable today.  The same applies to food.  She used to love fruit and now she doesn’t like any of it.  The bread sticks from Papa Johns which was the only thing she would eat a week ago, she doesn’t like today.  She wants a bologna sandwich for dinner but once it is prepared and ready for her, she doesn’t “like” it.  

She has pretty much stopped wearing pajama shirts and will only wear t shirts with her pajama bottoms.  But they have to be the right color.  Last night it was blue.  I am having a similar challenge with swim suits.  She doesn’t want a one piece and according to her none of the bikini tops fit right (they are really fine).  So when she is playing in the water in the back yard I have let her wear a t shirt instead.  I have just realized that this is going to back-fire on me since she has a water day at school and they want to go to the beach.  So now, I get to face the impending melt down over the fact that she needs to wear a full swim suit for those events.  Hmmm.  Do you have those days when you feel like you can’t win?

I have to say, I am about ready to let her wear shorts, t-shirt and flip-flops everywhere she goes, with yogurt for every meal.  I guess the good news is that the summer break is two weeks away, so the clothing may be appropriate (though I am sure once she is allowed to wear them the will start bothering her).  I guess I have to keep working on the food.  Not sure what a diet of just yogurt would do to her.  But I probably wouldn’t be happy with the results.

It is with mixed emotions that I have accepted the “graduation” of the girls from behavioral therapy.  I am very proud of the work all three of us have done.  We have all come a long way in the last few years and I can say with confidence that we have moved from a family struggling to manage to being in a pretty comfortable place.  While the girls still do have their challenges and they are still kids (with everything that comes with that), we have a lot more tools for dealing with the things that come up.  I still get stressed out (guess I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t) and they can drive me crazy with the best of them.  But on a day to day basis we all get along pretty well.  So wish us luck as we take on our adventures kid therapy free.

None of this would have been possible without the most amazing therapist in the world!  Thank you RH!  We love you!!  Best of luck in your future endeavors!

I think my children teach me at least as much as I teach them (if not more).  I have learned to be much more patient (still have a ways to go here, but I am a work in progress).  I have also learned that my kids are not the only one that don’t “make wise choices” sometimes.  I was one of the two guilty parties last weekend. 

I LOVE candles.  I have a ridiculous number of them that for the most part have been packed away in a box since I got the girls.  Recently I decided to burn one.  It is in the kitchen, on the counter almost all the way to the back.  Since the girls are now 5 and 6 I thought that it would be safe to burn it.  My error came in forgetting that AJ often struggles with impulse control.  I should have guessed that it was going to be a problem since she seemed fascinated with stretching far enough back to put her hand over it to feel the heat.  I reminded her that it could burn her and watched her long enough to see that she was responding to the warmth and not letting her hand get to close.

AJ was the other one to make a poor choice on Sunday.  I was sitting in the living room and was in a position where I could see in a little bit of the kitchen.  The candle was near the doorway where I could see.  All of the sudden I hear AJ calling my name in a panicked voice.  It is one of those moments when you know by the tone coming from your child that something is really wrong.  I look over to see AJ holding a burning piece of paper.  I jump up as fast as I can and tell her to drop it.  I am not sure what will happen but I know that she will get burned if she doesn’t get it out of her hands.  It fell on the floor and continued to burn.  At this point AJ is completely in shock and quite freaked out. 

I run into the kitchen and find something (I don’t recall what, I  just remember that I couldn’t find anything I thought was a good idea so I just started hitting it with something).  By now Vera has joined us in the kitchen and is standing back watching.  I managed to get the fire out before it catches anything else on fire.  Once I know that it is out, I check with AJ to make sure she it ok.  She said she was fine, which I interpreted as physically fine.  She still looked a bit dazed.  I gave her a big hug and told her it was ok, then took the opportunity to talk about why we don’t play with fire (in a very calm tone – this is when my newly developed patience is a great help). 

AJ enjoys science, I think she now has completed a unintentional experiment from which she learned a life time lesson.  I am pretty sure (impulse control challenges or not) she won’t be putting paper near a fire again any time soon. 

Thankfully, the porcelain tile on my kitchen floor appears to be fire resistant.  Not something I was looking to test out, but I guess it’s a good thing to know. 

So today was the first official day of the girl’s spring break.  We are planning a camping trip for the next few days and today was the shopping day to get all the stuff we needed for the trip (plus the shoes to go with their Easter dresses).  So I knew it was going to be a long day with little fun for the girls.  It started out well, but by the time we are in the last store, Vera was fussy and cranky.  I knew this was the longest of the shopping trips so was prepared for it to be rough. 

We were in the camping section, buying some new supplies when Vera, who had been walking, finally ran my patience out.  I picked her up off the floor (where she was pitching a fit) and placed her in the seat of the basket.  She calmed down a little but was still grumpy.  We walked to the next isle and she saw a picture on one of the camping supplies of a man with mud all over his face. 

The next thing I knew her mood had completely changed.  She wasn’t whining, or being cranky.  Her whole demeanor had changed.  I looked at her and asked her what had changed.  She said that it was the man with the mud on his face.  He had made her laugh.  So I asked her if that was the key to turning around her mood, making her laugh.  She said yes a made a funny face.

Later in the store when she started to get cranky again, I made a funny face at her and asked if that fixed her mood.  She smiled and her mood was better again.

Note to self…when Vera is whiny or cranky, bring out the funny faces (or rub mud all over it).  Hmm, think I will stick with the first one unless I am desperate.